i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
Codeine + Boredom = Sprinting between my front and back door.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
