At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
Randomize
