my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Just drug him and when he wakes up be like "you just woke up from a coma, we've been married for the past five years." It'll be like the Vow but fucked up.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
