I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
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