sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I apparently pulled his dick out at the bar and started yelling "DICK PICS IN REAL LIFE!"
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
