question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
Randomize
