Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
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