Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
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