I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I AM BEING ACCOSTED BY A HUMMING BIRD
I AM IN MILD DISTRESS
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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