Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
i think i have two assholes
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
Randomize
