I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
I last recall trying to play piano and asking justin for drugs. I would like to think I then gracefully laid down on the couch and shut my eyes like a sleeping kitten.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
