It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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