Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
Randomize