I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
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It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
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Sweetie, don't go home with him. You can do so much better. Everyone else at the bar agrees.
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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