I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
Randomize