Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
There I was, puking into the toilet, and he was rubbing my feet, buck naked. I feel like a drunk Disney princess.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
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