what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Randomize
