Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
Well my friend Jon slept on the couch and I slept next to my cooked lean pocket on the carpet
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
We are all done wearing pants today
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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