no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
My bookbag can hold 30+ beers. They shoulda put that on the tag bc its a big selling point
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
