for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
Just received a visit from the Ghost of Bad Decisions Past. Kind of weird 90% of the flashbacks happened in the same sixteen month span, the rest happened at Taco Bell.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
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