first i yelled "you cant get it up?" and then in the middle of it i opened a Corona
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
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