they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
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