my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Randomize