it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
Randomize
