The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
No more vodka shots for you. Last night you begged a man on your knees to sell you his beard. He had no beard.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
