I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Randomize
