4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
