I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Why is there a business card for people who need bail bonds in my wallet...
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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