someone get that fucking seahorse.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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