do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
did i just pee glitter
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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