let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
Randomize
