I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
Randomize
