I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
Randomize
