she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I need to sleep so I can die properly tomorrow.
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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