just balanced a champagne glass on my gut. thanks to beer im a living breathing tempur-pedic mattress.
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I am on top of a rooftop peeing on your freedom
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Walking towards a police car with full spotlights on you while being fully erect..awkward exp. for both parties
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
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