I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
My mom is making me buy a single zucchini, I look like someone who can't afford a dildo
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
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