ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
The power of my boobs compel you
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
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