So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Randomize
