I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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