I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Sorry there's no emoticon for I got my period all over a guy's bed so I had to improvise. There isn't even a bed one
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
