The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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