Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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