Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
It's a lot harder to work after sex than it is to work drunk... just saying.
Randomize
