turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
