Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I just want a relatively mentally stable guy with tattoos and facial hair that loves Captain America as much as I do and will fuck me the way I deserve to be fucked, is that too much to ask for?
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