I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
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I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
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