cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize