I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize