I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
FRIENDSHIP PRAYER: May the crabs of 1,000 whores infest the crotch of the person who fucks up your day
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
