I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
I asked the full emergency room who else was there because of homecoming and every single person raised their hand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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