I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
Randomize
