At a strip club after monster truck rally. You should be here
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
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