so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I just ate a cockroach and I want to be a fire truck.
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
I love you.
Bad choice
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