so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
Randomize
