All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Randomize
