Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
