Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought only tequila and Twister. And you're STILL surprised you got pregnant?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize